


Tomorrow Will Be Better

by lizziepro



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, Super Junior
Genre: Gen, Kyuline, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-06-05 18:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6716377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizziepro/pseuds/lizziepro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the thoughts become too much, when you're scared without reason, when you feel like you're losing control, who do you turn to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tomorrow Will Be Better

  
_**"What if you're actually a horrible person?"** _   
  
** _"No one really loves you. It's all a lie. You're not good for people."_ **  
  
** _"What if you hurt yourself? You can't do this."_ **  
  
** _"Don't say that word. Saying that word means it's part of you and makes it true."_ **  
  
** _"Why are you like this? Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"_ **

  
Kyuhyun sat on his floor, knees curled up to his chest and warm tear tracks streaming down his face.  
  
What was happening? Why couldn't he break out of this cycle?   
  
The thoughts kept rolling on and on, unrelenting in their intensity and fervor. Kyuhyun knew, intellectually, that he was okay. That he was a good person and he was loved, not an inconvenience to anyone. He felt it too, but with that he felt sick. Tense from fighting, tense from the constant whirring and arguing in his head. Tense from the constant fear, the last 2 weeks of sleeplessness.  
  
He's had anxiety issues for as long as he could remember. Panic attacks were something he was familiar with, but this. This seemed like a different animal.   
  
He didn't know how to break this. His fighting only seemed to make it worse, and he didn't know what to do next.  
  
He was miserable, unable to eat, sleep, relax, that constant feeling of nausea welling up in his chest. The tears didn't stop for days. He couldn't distract himself even with things he usually enjoyed, and some of them became tainted by the nastiness of fear rushing though his entire being.  
  
Why was he so afraid? There was nothing to be afraid of, but he was afraid. Of sharp objects, of cars, or trains, or other people, even of himself and the harm that could come.

  
There was no threat, but there was no way he could make himself feel this. Feel this safety, feel this sense of calm and clarity he so longed for.  
  
Is this what a nervous breakdown felt like?  
  
The door opened and closed quietly, but he could still hear it with his bedroom door open.  
  
Changmin appeared in his doorway. It was 1am when Kyuhyun had called, asking him for help.  
  
It was the first time Changmin had ever heard his best friend ask for help, let alone sound so genuinely frightened while doing so. This was why Changmin told him to stay where he was and wait for him there.

  
Upon seeing his friend, so upset, so frightened seemingly of everything around him and within him, he tried to fight the tears he felt brimming at his own eyes.  
  
They weren't usually emotional guys, by any means, but seeing the other in so much pain, so much hurt and confusion and so desparately wanting some peace of mind, to feel safe, well, anyone would be upset.  
  
_"Come on, let's get you to bed, Kyuhyun."_  
  
Changmin walked over to the spot Kyuhyun had made on the floor. Kleenex scattered along the ground, bandaid wrappers littered along as the bandages themselves lined Kyuhyun's thumbs and forefingers. His lips were shredded, his eyes swollen to the extreme.  
  
What do you do when someone you care so much about is hurting in a way no one knows how to solve?  
  
What do you do?  
  
Changmin picked up the trash along the floor and went to Kyuhyun's bathroom sink, filling him up a glass of water. He made his way to Kyuhyun's bed, where his best friend sat, still so tense, still so confused and afraid. He looked delicate, and Kyuhyun never looked delicate, like he could break with the wrong word or touch.  
  
He joined his best friend, his brother, under his down feather blanket, wrapped an arm around his shoulder and let Kyuhyun breathe through choked sobs into his shoulder.  
  
_"It'll be okay, Kyuhyun. You're okay. Tomorrow will be better."_  
  
Kyuhyun breathed, again, and again, working his way to calming down though the thoughts still ran at record pace through his head, their buzzing dulled to a quiet murmur now. Kyuhyun was a fighter, he didn't need anyone, never, but things might change now.   
  
Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It's an action to improve the current situation.  
  
And it doesn't always have to be vocal.  
  
Changmin turned down the tv volume and turned out the single lamp next to Kyuhyun's bed, unmoving, allowing Kyuhyun to stay tucked into his shoulder.  
  
This was Kyuhyun's silent plea for help, and Changmin heeded, holding his best friend close and letting him take his time, Kyuhyun's grip lessening as his breathing evened out.  
  
Tomorrow would be better.   



End file.
